You can finally wait forever.
There is the idea that many of us have that, at some point, all stars will be aligned for us and the universe will give us all the tools, resources, and motivation we need to stop smoking.
So far, I have found that stars never line up like that. Motivation does not only appear outside the cosmos as if it has been given to us by some divine inspiration, nor can anyone "motivate" us or motivate us.
Sure, we can read books, spend hours reading motivational quotes on Pinterest or even hiring a coach who motivates to give us a quick kick behind, but all we do is trigger the motivation that is already inside us.
Think of a match. You hit a wall and exploded into a fire.
The wall does not place a flame in a match. The wall did not plant matches with some magical properties that were not previously owned, which caused it to burn.
All traits to make a fire already exist in a match, only the act of hitting it against the wall activates those qualities and puts phosphorus to work to reach its true potential, at least as far as we can say that the full potential of a party is to be a fire.
The same thing happened to us. All the properties we need to reach our full potential, to be happy, healthy and nonsmokers are already in us.
The best part of all this?
We don't need someone to hit us, hire a coach or even get a Pinterest account to activate the property, we can do it ourselves.
The motivation we need to start quitting smoking and stay on track when cravings, retreats, and ancient temptations try to pull us out, already inside us.
Today, I will share with you some of the things that helped me take advantage of the motivation and determination I needed to quit smoking and stop doing it for more than two years, the same thing that I have been using ever since to help me. lose 40 pounds of weight, run a marathon, change careers and do many other interesting things.
The three things that I will share with you are:
1) Very clear about the intrinsic reasons for quitting 2) Change those motifs into bright, beautiful images of our smoke-free ideal beings3) Make regular small reminders to keep us going.
Ready to go into it?
lets do it
Clarifying why we stop smoking
None of us decided to stop smoking because of giggling. We do it because at any level and for whatever reason, we feel compelled to make great positive changes in our lives.
These reasons can be more than just a catalyst for us to begin this adventure where we find ourselves, they can function as the first powerful tool we can use to keep us motivated as we move forward.
That said, I would argue unequivocally that if that reason really would benefit us, then it must be because they are based on things that benefit us, rather than others.
In the 1990s, researchers at the Center for Health Studies in Seattle, Washington, found that smokers with a higher level of intrinsic motivation to quit smoking were more likely to succeed in the long term than those who reason to quit smoking. mostly extrinsic.
In other words, if your reason for quitting is because you want to make positive changes for yourself (for example, you want to be in a better, healthier or happier physical condition), then you are more likely to refrain from smoking than if You don't just do it to bring you back to your partner or because it is very bad to be seen in your social circle.
If you haven't already done so, take a pen and paper (or open the tool for taking notes on your cellphone) and write down all the reasons you can imagine wanting to quit smoking.
Of course, I say "as much as you can imagine", but you may only have very specific reasons. You may have just lost a loved one because of a smoking-related illness and want to be healthy before the same thing happens, or save money for a marriage, or whatever.
If you only have that reason, it's also good.
Write it down
If you find that you have several reasons, like I did, write it down. My reason is that I want to be healthy, I want to manage my finances and I want to increase my self-esteem. You can do anything.
As long as they are intrinsic, as long as they are about what you want and not what others want for you, they will be useful.
At this point, I would suggest that you keep a list of these reasons and bring them with you so you can, if necessary, eliminate them as a strong reminder of why you are on this trip.
However, I also suggest that just a list of reasons may not be strong enough to help us make use of all the internal motivations we need to succeed.
To do that, we will use that reason to help us with our next step:
Make great, bright and beautiful images from our ideal photo, smoke free by Michael Dam on Unsplash
Saying "I want to stop smoking to be healthier" is a good start. Saying "I want to stop smoking to have more money" might be a good way to get us into the right mindset, but what exactly is one of those things?
How do we know when we are healthier?
How we will know when we have reached "have more money".
How does this look?
What will we feel?
What will we see, do, and think will be different from what we see, do, and think now?
Soon, we will do a visualization exercise that will allow us to answer those questions, but first, let me explain why this is important.
When we see words as "healthier" or "richer" written, or even when we say it to ourselves, those words can cause positive flashes in us. We realize that health and wealth are good things, and we can even recognize within us the basic level of desire that we want to move forward.
However, only when we really start to think what it means for us to be truly healthy and rich is what really starts to inspire us. When we begin to think of ourselves as thinner and more attractive people with bloated bags of money and bank accounts, we get excited about the possibility of being healthier and richer, and the more excited we are, the more excited we are to rise from evaluation and in reality DO something to get a portion of that health and wealth for us.
In the same way, once we begin our journey, we face all kinds of challenges and obstacles. In the case of quitting smoking, these symptoms usually manifest as symptoms of withdrawal, cravings, and temptations. Every time we find one of these things, we need a little excitement and our initial enthusiasm, so we need to go back and "recharge", to remind us exactly WHY we are on this journey and how wonderful we are when we get there.
This exercise does that. It helps us paint large, bright and beautiful images of how well we will do after we stop smoking, photos that we not only see, but also feel and experience, images that excite us at the beginning, images that can make us stay as excited as we move forward on our journey, keep our enthusiasm and motivation fully filled, even when we are going through the worst phase of the stop process.
Photo by Marcelo Matarazzo at Unsplash.
Before starting this exercise, read all instructions first to find out what you are doing.
1) Close your eyes and take three big, deep and slow breaths.
3) Think of it as seeing yourself in the mirror with your ideal form that looks at you. Look at their eyes, see how bright and full of life they are. Pay attention to the wide, radiant smile on his face. Notice how you stand tall, proud and confident. Continue watching this picture and note the details.
4) When you have that picture, make it bigger, brighter, more beautiful. Make colors bolder and more alive. Make the details clearer. Make the whole picture bigger. Make sure you don't look in the mirror again but see a cinema screen in a movie theater, even bigger if you can.
5) Continue to do this, make the image as big, bright and beautiful as possible.
6) Next, enter the image. Imagine as if you are joining yourself with those ideals for yourself, or as if you are wearing new clothes and BEING that person. Look through the eyes of your ideal self, really feel how it feels to stop smoking, be healthy, happy, rich, and have reached all your goals for quitting smoking. Listen to what you will hear, see how fun and happy it is to succeed.
7) In embracing these positive and exciting feelings, tell yourself in a strong and confident voice: "THIS IS WHAT I AM REALLY AM!"
Now that you have proven how good it is to stop smoking and have reached all your goals, chances are that you will find that you are very excited to succeed with your neglect.
After all, isn't it worth the inconvenience and discomfort that comes with stopping if you can feel VERY GOOD on the other side? Is it not feasible through this process to become the ideal version for you?
Practice this technique as often as you want to help "recharge" your motivation, to remind you why you are on this trip and how well you feel when you go successfully.
Talk about reminders.
Use regular and brief reminders: a few quick tips
In 2003, Professor John Hughes of the University of Vermont found that repeated and brief reminders of the benefits that can be obtained from stopping, the risk of not doing it and the amount of support available can have a very positive impact on the ability of people to quit smoking successfully. smoke.
Hughes suggested that people should be encouraged to use "behavioral and supportive therapy," such as group work and individual counseling.
That's part of the reason why I created the Finding Freedom group on Facebook: it provides a platform where people who quit smoking can join and support one another, while reminding themselves why they quit.
This is also the reason why I started doing individual mentoring and support, giving people a safe space where they explore how to stop influencing them mentally and emotionally.
However, in addition, there are a number of things we can do to help us get short and repetitive reminders that don't use more than our smartphone and package post-it notes.
Remember that I said earlier that maybe you should put a list of reasons to stop smoking in your telephone record? You can dig and remove it when you feel your motivation is decreasing.
Are you not confident to really do it? Use the "reminder" or calendar feature on your smartphone to set reminders to be activated periodically.
You might do it so that every two hours or so your phone will tell you quickly: "Hey, you understand this!", Lift me up. Or maybe I will use it to send reminders that are useful when you really need them, like in an activation situation.
For example, if you have trouble not having the cigarette after lunch after dinner, set a reminder to turn it off at the time that usually ends a dinner that says, "Hey! You're great at resigning. You're getting healthier all the time!"
That by itself can help you stay on track even when intense desire hits.
Finally, consider using post-it or design some type of "motivational quote" style image and print it. Place it in places where you usually smoke the most, such as in your car or in certain rooms around the house.
For example, I used to smoke most of the time in my kitchen, so I first came out of the kitchen like a small trigger for me. Something in my brain would say "hey, you usually smoke here, do it!", So I put it in the kitchen to remind me why I was on my way to stop smoking.
This may seem like a small thing, but believe me, it will be very useful to allow us to use the feeling of motivation that is already inside us all the time.